When Perry Met Carlton
by LadyCizzle
Summary: Two lonely souls meet at a bar and find out they have more in common then either of them know. A lot in common, including the pains in their necks they can't stop thinking about.  Will contain slash.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Another old fic that I had posted on my LJ and decided to finally post it here. It's in chapter form but since it's short I'll try to post at least one chapter a day, two days max. It's only six chapters. It's a crossover fic between Psych and Scrubs because I find the characters have certain similarities. If you're fan of Scrubs you may get it and if not then I hope you Enjoy this fic. Anyways onwards to the chapter.**

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**Disclaimer: Didn't have a part in creating neither one of these shows but if the creators want to give me credit for them I will gladly take them. Mama didn't raise no fool, she did however raise a slasher.

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**Warning: May seem a bit OCC but I tried my best to keep the characters in line but sometimes it just slips out. Also unbeta'd so all mistakes found are no one's fault but mine. And please don't be one of those people who point out the mistakes because I'm not changing anything. I'm to lazy to do that.**

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**Chapter One**

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It was one of the those night's the doctor thought to himself as he was given his second scotch of the night. He didn't know how long he'd been at the bar because for him, time seemed to be irrelevant. It didn't matter how much slipped away he just wanted the day to be over with already.

Taking a huge gulp out of his glass, he was enjoying the feeling of being alone when he heard a voice behind him.

"Mind if I sit here."

Looking around, Perry noticed that he was in fact surrounded by a few people and the only free seat at the bar was directly beside him. Sighing, he looked up to see a dark haired stranger staring down at him with hopeful eyes. The man looked upset but more tired then anything and that alone entitled to at least a few drinks. Pushing his glass closer to him he gestured for the man to sit down beside him.

"One rule, you don't talk," Perry quickly said before the man had a chance to sit down. The last thing he needed was some drunk loser spilling his guts after a few sips of his drinks. With him, that seemed to happen on more than a rare occasion.

The man simple nodded as he took off his suit jacket and laid it across the bar. He pulled out his wallet and badge and placed them on top of his jacket before he sat down on the stool.

The badge immediately caught Perry's eye as the man sat down and he willed himself to be on his best behavior. The last thing he needed was for his soul sucking ex-wife to bail him out of jail for pissing off a cop. Turning his eyes away, he listened as the cop ordered his drink, a Heineken, and laid his head on the bar. Perry tried his best to keep to himself but curiosity got the better of him as his eyes lingered on the badge. "You a cop," he finally asked, slowly sipping out his glass.

The cop raised his head and stared at Perry with an evil glare. A bar was not the place to talk to people. They never knew when to shut up, especially the drunk ones. "I thought you said no talking."

"No I said you don't talk. I can talk whenever the hell I want."

The man snorted as the bartender placed his beer in front of him. He didn't answer Perry's question, instead he picked up the bottle and took a quick swig out of it. If he was going to talk to people he needed at least a little alcohol in his system. "To answer your question," he finally said, putting his bottle down, "Yes I am a cop. Detective Carlton Lassiter at your service," he proudly stated as he held out his hand for Perry to shake it which his bar mate eventually did.

"Dr. Perry Cox," Perry replied with just as much pride in his voice, letting go of Lassiter's hand.

Hearing the word doctor made Carlton slightly jealous as he thought about his own job. "So you're a doctor huh, must be nice."

"Not so bad," Perry shrugged, "What about you, you're a detective."

"Yeah, so."

"What job not glamorous?"

"Glamorous doesn't even describe my job," Carlton smirked, sipping his beer. "I may be head detective but I'm overworked, underpaid, and underappreciated."

"My friend, I know exactly how you feel."

"And to top it all off I have this annoying fake psychic in my face every single day. He makes me so sick I swear one of these days he's going to disappear and no one will ever find his body."

Perry couldn't help but laugh at Carlton's comment. It was nice to know that he wasn't the only one who hated their job and the people that came with it. Well most of the time anyway. The comment alone made Perry feel closer to the cop. "Whaddya say, next round on me?"

Carlton looked over at the doctor confused. He wasn't used to people being nice to him, especially men in bars, "Really," he asked skeptical.

"Yeah why not. You're not the only one who deals with a snot-nose-"

"Know it all little-"

"Punk, who is constantly-"

"In your face, trying to-"

"Prove themselves to you," Perry finished as he swallowed the last of his alcohol. "Like I said," he smirked, turning his attention back to the cop, "I know exactly how you feel."

"Okay," Lassiter smiled finishing off his own beer and signaled for the bartender to bring him another. If someone was offering to pay for his drinks he wasn't going to turn them down. "Thanks,"

"No problem," Perry smiled back. Moments of silence passed between them as each man paid more attention to their drinks than each other. After a minute or two Perry turned back to his new friend who was still on his second beer. "So," he murmured, putting down his glass, "This nuisance of yours, they got a name?"

"Yeah they do, it's Spencer, Shawn Spencer but to me it's just Spencer" Lassiter spat. Just thinking about the thorn in his side made his head hurt. "What about you, what's the name of your pest?"

"Well his friends call him J.D but to me it's Clara or Susan on a good day. Most of the time it's just Newbie."

"Newbie, god they sound annoying," Carlton snorted.

"You have no idea," Perry growled as he finished off his third drink.

Lassiter on the other hand knew exactly what Perry went through and possibly more.

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I know, if you're familiar with Scrubs you're probably saying hey 'The likelyhood of Perry and Carlton being at the same bar is slim to none' but if you remember they never told us where Sacred Heart was located. So for the sake of this story Scared Heart is located in Santa Barbara. And besides don't these two scream "I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, WE HAVE THE SAME LIFE." Well they do in my mind. Really hoped you like it and if you did drop me a line or two in the review box. Until next time,

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, especially if they're your size and pretty,

LadyCizzle


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: I know I promised this chapter earlier but the week just seemed to get away from me. That and it kinda sorta slipped my mind that I had even posted it again. Well it's no big did because I finally remembered and now have the second chapter up for your enjoyment. Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, and favorite'd. You guys rock hard. Now enjoy! **

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**Disclaimer: Didn't have a part in creating neither one of these shows but if the creators want to give me credit for them I will gladly take them. Mama didn't raise no fool, she did however raise a slasher.

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**

**Warning: May seem a bit OCC but I tried my best to keep the characters in line but sometimes it just slips out. Also unbeta'd so all mistakes found are no one's fault but mine. And please don't be one of those people who point out the mistakes because I'm not changing anything. I'm to lazy to do that.**

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**Chapter Two**

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A month passed since Perry left Carlton at the bar and he hadn't seen the detective since. Not that he kept going to the bar looking for him specifically, he just never met a person who was exactly like him only not. He was more intrigued then anything else. They were both Irish, had ex-wives, both felt unappreciated at their occupations, and both dealt with pain in the asses on a daily basis. Yeah, Lassiter was like a taller, paler, darker hair version of him.

Perry walked into his usual bar to find his usual seat occupied by nothing more than a blue suit jacket. He growled as he strode over to the bar to find the same Irish man from last month holding his seat for him.

"Cox, I was wondering when you would show up," Carlton smiled, removing his jacket from his stool and patting the seat.

"Carlton, what are you doing here?"

"I needed a drink, you?"

"Me, well I need at least two before I even start talking to you," Perry replied but quickly noticed the cold scotch already sitting on the bar. "This isn't laced is it because the last thing I want is to wake up tomorrow to find out that my virtue has been taken away from me?"

"Just sit down," Carlton demanded, sipping out his own glass. A shot of whiskey taken straight to the head and before the glass could hit the bar the bartender poured him another.

Perry chuckled but did what Lassiter asked and took his place beside the already buzzed detective. "So how've you been?"

"You really want to know?"

"Not really but-"

Lassiter didn't even wait for Perry to finish his comment, slamming his drink down and turning his attention back to Perry. "I'll tell you what happened," he hissed at the doctor, "Because of Spencer and his pseudo-psychic live shows I was beaten out of out of solving a case that including a double homicide murder. I was this close to solving it, this close," he gestured to Perry to give his speech extra emphasis in case he didn't get it, "And what does Spencer come in and do, besides being a complete idiot, he comes in a makes a mockery of the whole case. Spencer, with his phony statements about his connections with spirits and sensing dead people; it's just sickening. Everything he does is baffling and bullshit."

By the time Carlton finished he was breathing heavy and his face was flushed red with anger. He turned away from Perry and took his fourth and hopefully last drink to the head. "What?"

"Nothing," Perry shrugged as he finished off his cold liquor, "Just waiting on your head to explode."

Carlton realized the intensity of his outburst and lowered his head, flustering slightly. He didn't mean to get so loud and spill his guts to a man he'd only seen twice in his life but he couldn't help it. Whenever he thought about Shawn Spencer, psychic detective, his blood seemed to boil. "Sorry," he whispered so low that Perry barely heard him.

"Don't worry about it; Newbie aggravated the hell out of me today too. Everyday he comes in with his annoying questions, constant whining, and his desperate longing to for hugs. It's enough to drive anyone crazy."

"Yeah but why us, I mean why they'd choose us and not somebody else to annoy. Why are they so attracted to people like us?"

"It's like they seek out emotional, narcissistic, ex-wife having, people hating men to torture for their own personal pleasure. It's sick if I must say."

"How the hell did we become so lucky?" Carlton sarcastically replied, rolling his eyes at the same time."

"Hell if I know," Perry responded as he started on his second scotch. "So," he finally said after a few minutes of silence. "Get your ex anything for Valentines."

"Sent her the usual, a card and some flowers. Wishing her the best but secretly hoping she's just as lonely and miserable as I am," he replies, not even looking up. "You."

"Gave she-beast my credit card and told her to try and buy back her soul from the devil. Did that so I wouldn't have to spend the day with her."

"I can feel the love."

"Well send some in my direction cause I sure as hell don't," Perry admitted, "I love her for my children but I gotta tell you, there's nothing there anymore. God I wish there was but there isn't."

"Sorry."

Perry finished off his drink and patted the detective on the back. They were really two peas in the same horrible, horrible pod. Perry didn't know whether to be happy or sad that he found someone just like him. "You're saying sorry as if I blame you."

"I know you don't blame me just like I can't blame you for my divorce."

"Thank god we got that out of the way," Perry snorted, rolling his eyes.

"Hey Perry, you ever wonder who we should blame, you know, for feeling like this."

"We blame love."

Lassiter looked up with a raised eyebrow at the doctor placing all his relationship problems on love. He'd never heard that logic before but lord knows he wanted to hear it. "Love, you blame love. Why?"

"Because it wasn't enough. It was supposed to be but it wasn't."

And that was it. That's all that needed to be said because when they both thought about it love was to blame for all their problems. Love caused the mess and when they needed it the most it, it high-tailed like Harrison Ford in the fugitive. Yeah, both men thought as they sipped their final drinks, love was a bitch. 

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So was it good for you as it was for me. Probably not but a girl has to try right. Anyways this fic only has a few chapters but it takes place during an entire year. So that means some months will be skipped for the sake of the story. Next time our boys meet it will be Saint Patrick's Day because come on, they're both Irish and love to have strong alcoholic drinks. This holiday is made for them. Until next time.

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, especially if they're your size and pretty,

LadyCizzle


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: Sorry for the lateness but this week as been a trying one. For some reason every time I set my mind to do something, something else gets in the way. I used to be better at things like this but alas, I'm getting older. Now enough about my life please go and read. I really hope you enjoy it. **

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**Disclaimer: Didn't have a part in creating neither one of these shows but if the creators want to give me credit for them I will gladly take them. Mama didn't raise no fool, she did however raise a slasher.**

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**Warning: May seem a bit OCC but I tried my best to keep the characters in line but sometimes it just slips out. Also unbeta'd so all mistakes found are no one's fault but mine. And please don't be one of those people who point out the mistakes because I'm not changing anything. I'm to lazy to do that.**

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**Chapter Three**

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The third time Lassiter and Perry meet isn't coincidental or planned, it just happened to be St. Patrick's day and the two Irish men are celebrating their holiday along with everyone else in the bar. There were people of all types there, some definitely not Irish but no one seemed to care. It was the best holiday in the world to get drunk of your ass and not care about tomorrow. Lassiter smiled as he walked in and spotted Perry, not at the bar but at one of the tables surrounded by other men embracing their heritage.

"Carlton, so nice to see you," Perry laughed as he spoke in his fake but good Irish accent. A half pitcher of beer on the table along with two empty beer mugs, "What brings you by here Lassie?"

"I see somebody got started without me." Carlton smiled as he took of his jacket. This was his third time seeing Perry in the course of three months and he'd never seen the man this drunk before.

"Come sit, have a pint with me,"

"Don't mind if I do." He grabbed the clean mug and poured himself a full glass of beer. The day had been hard

"So how was your day?"

"Saved a few lives, managed to avoid Jessica and my ex-wife at the same time, get to celebrate the fight of my people. Overall, it was a great day. How about you?"

"Same," Lassiter shrugged, sipping out of his mug. "Caught a killer without Spencer hanging around, chief congratulated me on the bust, and I got you buying me drinks. What more could I possible want?"

"I have no fucking clue."

Carlton laughed at the doctor and drunk his beer. He sipped from his glass slowly as he watched the people around him laughing and joking as if they had no care in the world. Sometimes he wished he could be like that, more like Spencer. The life of the party, loved by all. He had no clue as to why he was thinking about the dim-witted psychic but he was. "I wonder what Spencer's doing." Lassiter said quietly, wincing when he realized that Perry was close by and could possibly hear him. He silently prayed though that he hadn't.

"Why do you care what Spencer's doing?"

He was wrong. Perry obviously heard his comment and was quite curious as to why he said something like. "I don't," he replied the best way he could, shifting slightly in his chair.

"Then why the wander face."

"My face is not wandering, in fact it is so far from wander that it's not even close to wander."

"God you sound like Newbie," Perry groaned as he finished his beer. He slapped himself in the face when he realized that he said the younger doctor's name aloud. He didn't want Lassiter to know that he was doing the same thing as him, wondering what Newbie was doing.

Lassiter smiled at the slip and continued to sip out of his glass. "I guess I'm not the only one who's pain in the ass is on my mind."

"Shut-up dammit," Perry snarled, banging his fist on the table, his face growing red from anger. His hatred for Cynthia grew enormously when someone mentioned him and Newbie in the same sentence. "I am not thinking about Betty."

"I see I hit someone's sore spot," Lassiter grinned as he poured himself another pint of beer. "What's the matter, hate for anyone to talk about your feelings for your precious Newbie."

"Newbie is in no way, shape, or form precious to me and I do not, I repeat do not have feelings for Sarah Jane."

"And I don't have feelings for Spencer."

"So we both agree. We have no feelings for those nuisances that work under us-"

"And in no way do we want them to ever be under us."

"Right. Hey, you'll never guess what Spencer got me for St. Patrick's Day."

"What?"

"A box of Lucky Charms cereal complete with a color changing spoon and a wristwatch."

"That's nothing; Newbie thought it would be nice to be me a t-shirt that says, "Kiss Me, I'm Irish. What the hell was he thinking?"

Lassiter looked down and noticed that Perry was wearing the shirt that J.D brought him. He opened his mouth to say something but quickly realized that the watch was still in his pocket. Not wanting to be a hypocrite he decided to pretend he didn't notice it.  
"I have no clue," Lassiter sighed, "They're idiots. Hey, if you kill them I know the perfect place to hide the bodies."

"I think that can be arranged," Perry chuckled in agreement. "You know, I've only known you for a short time and you're quickly becoming my new best friend."

"I feel the same Perry," Lassiter agreed. Ever since their meeting two months ago, he was starting to grow attached to Perry because of their similarities with each other. "So what does that make us?"

"Two very lonely bastards with hearts made of stone, evil ex-wives we hate, surrounded by people that annoy us daily."

"That's sad."

"Yeah, but it's us."

"I'll drink to that." Lassiter said, raising his glass. Perry did the same thing and the two of them banged their glasses together before they finished drinking the rest of their beer. 

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There. I know short but most of the chapters all. Like I stated previously the next chapter will take place a few months down the line. It's starting to get serious. Hope you guys liked this chapter and until next time,

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, especially if they're your size and pretty,

LadyCizzle


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary: Another chapter for everyone who's reading this. Somebody must like it because I've gotten a few alerts about it. I'm glad. Anyways nothing much to say so I'll just let you readers do what you do best-read. Enjoy! **

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**Disclaimer: Didn't have a part in creating neither one of these shows but if the creators want to give me credit for them I will gladly take them. Mama didn't raise no fool, she did however raise a slasher.**

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**Warning: May seem a bit OCC but I tried my best to keep the characters in line but sometimes it just slips out. Also unbeta'd so all mistakes found are no one's fault but mine. And please don't be one of those people who point out the mistakes because I'm not changing anything. I'm to lazy to do that.**

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**Chapter Four**

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Over the next couple of months, Perry and Lassiter fell into a pattern. They would meet at the bar at least once a week and complain about their lives, which usually kept them at the bar for at least an hour and a half. And as usual, the topic would soon move to jobs to the people they hated the most, J.D and Spencer.

This particular night in June, however, there wasn't much conversation about J.D or Spencer. The main talk of the night was Perry talking about the break-up with his wife, or ex-wife if someone were to get technical.

"So she finally left?" Lassiter asked softly after Perry finished telling his story. "Really,"

"Yup. She packed her things, gathered the kids, and told me she was going to be staying at her mom's for a few days until she got a place of her own. Somewhere close to me so we can have joint custody of the Jack and Jennifer."

"Tell you why."

"Oh yeah she told me. She told me the same thing I've been telling myself repeatedly for the past few months; the love isn't there anymore. She realized that it was time for both of us to move on."

Lassiter heart sunk as he listened to the words, the same words spoken to him when his wife told him that she was leaving. "I'm sorry man."

Perry shrugged, sipping his beer, "It's no one fault really, it just happened. I'm fine, she's fine and we got two beautiful kids together. That makes me one lucky bastard."

"Yeah you are."

"What about you, you ever thought about kids?"

Lassiter sat back, eyes wide. He never had the discussion of children with anyone beside his ex-wife and even then, it was only in passing. "I don't know, not really," he finally answered, "Sometimes I did but with my job, not knowing if I'm going to live to see another day. Let's just say I don't think it would be fair to bring a child in this world only for them to lose their father."

"That's too bad."

"I'm the one who chose to be a cop, I have to live with the consequences of never having children," Lassiter shrugged, "I love my niece and nephew but as for a child of my own, I'm not really sure."

"I know how you feel, before Jack I hated the thought of kids. They're messy, sticky, needy, and hard to interpret."

"What changed?"

"The birth of my son," Perry smiled. "Don't get me wrong; when he was first born I didn't feel anything for because I didn't know he was mine."

"Huh."

"Jordan, she lied. Told me some bellhop in Greece knocker her up but come to find out the kid was mine and she knew about it the whole time. Hell, she even told Shelly before she told me."

"Now that's fucking wrong," Lassiter mumbled. He picked up his beer and took a small sip out of it at the same time thinking what he would have done if that happened to him. All he could say is that it wouldn't have been pretty.

"Hell yeah it was but she had her reasons and I forgave her. She wanted me to be with because I wanted, not out of obligation. I couldn't fault her for that."

Lassiter nodded his head and realized that maybe Perry's ex did have a valid reason but still, she should have told him. "So, when did you realize that you felt something for a kid that you didn't know was yours?"

"When I named him?"

"You named him."

"Yup," Perry smiled, thinking back at the memory. "It was a few days later and she still hadn't come with a name for him so I did. I called him Jack and he smiled, at me of all people and I gotta tell you I fell in love with him at that very moment."

"Must be nice, to have someone to love you when no one else does."

"It is, but sometimes you wish it was more."

"Yeah we do, but wishes don't come true people like us."

"You know," Perry spoke after a few minutes of silence, "It's not to late for you to, ya know, have kids. I mean, if you really want them."

"I guess you're right but still, it's kinda hard when you're a cop and even harder when you have no one to share them with."

Perry simply nodded as him and Lassiter continued to drink their beverages. Neither of them spoke another word for the rest of the night, they simply swallowed their beers and wallowed in their thoughts.

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Fourth chapter up and a few more to go. Hoped you enjoyed it and until next time,

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, especially if they're your size and pretty,

LadyCizzle


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary: Another week another chapter for those lovely readers who are reading this. Just want to pause for a moment to say thanks for all the wonderful comments I've gotten so far. And to that one special reviewer who asked if Shawn and J.D ever meet the answer is yes, they do. In the sequel that I wrote that will be up after this story is completely posted. Now go read, Enjoy!**

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**Disclaimer: Didn't have a part in creating neither one of these shows but if the creators want to give me credit for them I will gladly take them. Mama didn't raise no fool, she did however raise a slasher.**

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**Warning: May seem a bit OCC but I tried my best to keep the characters in line but sometimes it just slips out. Also unbeta'd so all mistakes found are no one's fault but mine. And please don't be one of those people who point out the mistakes because I'm not changing anything. I'm to lazy to do that.**

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**Chapter Five**

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Five weeks had passed before Perry saw the detective again thanks to his busy work load and Carlton's caseload. He was already an hour late due to a salmonella outbreak but he finally managed to leave the hell whole. He arrived at the bar to find the usual prim proper detective sporting jeans and a t-shirt and an entire bottle of tequila in his hand. Perry immediately knew that something was wrong with the man.

He slid in the booth across from Carlton and took the bottle from his hand. Carlton didn't care or notice that Perry was even there. "Lassiter, you alright."

Lassiter looked up, eyes bloodshot from the alcohol at Perry. He didn't even hear the doctor sit across from here but there he was. Grabbing the bottle from Perry's hand, he poured himself another shot and drunk it quickly before pouring him another.

"Carlton."

"Spencer was shot," he finally admitted, pouring himself another drink, the bottle shaking in his hand.

The sentence Perry like a ton of bricks. He assumed that Lassiter was upset about his job, not about the man he claimed to hate. "He…he alright," Perry asked concerned.

"His fine," Lassiter growled as his fingers wrapped around the glass "The bullet, it didn't enter him. It just grazed his shoulder."

"That's good, right."

"Good, Perry good. No, it is not good in fact; it's the worse thing that could possibly happen. He's some phony psychic who is just supposed to give us clues and lead us to the bad guys. He's not supposed to get involved and he's sure as hell not supposed to jump in the line of fire, especially to save my life."

"Carlton-"

"He jumped in front of a rogue bullet meant for me and it hit him. Doesn't he get that my life isn't worth saving," Lassiter hissed, slamming down the glass. "I'm a cop, it's my job to be in the line of fire but Shawn's not trained for that. He shouldn't have been there."

"So he's Shawn now."

"He saved my life; I owe him to call him by his first name."

"Is he okay?"

"He's fine. Like I said, wasn't serious but it could have been. I can still feel his blood in on my hands, clothes. I close my eyes and I can't help but imagine what could have happened if he'd move a little more to the right. You're a doctor; you know what happens to people who've been shot. My God, doesn't he get that people care about him and would go literally go crazy if something happened to him."

Perry took another drink out of the bottle as he watched Lassiter play with his glass, "Would you miss him?"

"Oh course I would miss him," Lassiter gulped down his current shot and looked back up at Perry. The doctor was the first person, beside his therapist that he admitted it too. "I would really miss him."

"Don't feel bad, I'd miss mine too."

"Really,"

"Really."

"But you don't have to worry about him getting shot by some crazy ex-husband going to jail for shooting his lover,"

"No," Perry admitted as he took his own sip out of the tequila bottle, "But he has a heart problem. Vasonvagal Syncope, a heart condition that causes him to pass out whenever he has a trigger, usually stress in his case."

"Oh."

"Just the other day I saw him arguing with the mother of his child about his visitation rights at the same time trying to balance at least ten patients. It just became to much for him and he just, fainted," Perry whispered, thinking back on the memory that happened less than a week ago. He'd seen it coming and yet he watched as the charts slowly fell out of J.D's arms and onto the floor and his body contorted as he fell to the floor beside them. Just seeing him like that made his own heart stop as he rushed to the young man side and lifted him up in his arms.

"Were you scared?"

"Hell yeah I was. I knew it was coming but it was my first time actually seeing it happen. It made me sick to my stomach."

Lassiter remained quiet, pushing his glass away from him and laying his head on the table. Over the last nine months Perry had truly become his confidante. The person he could turn too when his life was crappier than usual. True, he only saw the man every once in a while but the bond they shared seemed to grow deeper whenever they talked. Perry had truly turned into his best friend. "I know how you feel."

"What happened to the bad asses we used to be?" Perry asked, taking another swig out of the bottle. He was no where as drunk as Carlton but a couple more gulps would get him there. "Man back in the day I would have grounded Newbie into dusk the very first day I met him."

"Spencer's ass would be behind bars right now in a bright orange jumpsuit if that guy was around. Where the fuck did he go?"

"I don't know but I miss him. He may have made my life miserable but at least it was less complicated."

Carlton laughed a drunken laugh as he slouched down in the booth. He used to be such a bad ass, no bullshit taking detective, and all that went out the door the day he met Shawn Spencer. The only man who somehow managed to break down every wall he had around his heart just by being an idiot.

Perry joined in the laughter, pouring Lassiter another drink before taking the bottle to his head again and swallowing as much as he could. "You gonna tell him how you feel," he asked the detective.

"I will if you will."

"That's not going to happen ever, no matter how much Tamara wants it too."

"So I guess that means we're never going to tell them huh."

"I'm taking it to my grave."

"Then I guess I'm doing the same."

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Did you feel the angst, I know I did. I totally think Shawn would without a doubt take a bullet for Carlton. Hoped you enjoyed this chapter and as a reward for reading here's a secret about the next chapter. It's full of Shassie goodness. Until next time,

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, especially if they're your size and pretty,

LadyCizzle


	6. Interlude One: Shassie

**Summary: Yay it's time for another chapter post. I want to say thanks for the reviews so far, you guys rock. I take great pride knowing that someone other than myself is enjoying this fic. Nothing new going on in my life so I have nothing to write. Just go ahead and read this chapter. It's full of Shassie goodness. **

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**Disclaimer: Didn't have a part in creating neither one of these shows but if the creators want to give me credit for them I will gladly take them. Mama didn't raise no fool, she did however raise a slasher.**

* * *

**Warning: May seem a bit OCC but I tried my best to keep the characters in line but sometimes it just slips out. Also unbeta'd so all mistakes found are no one's fault but mine. And please don't be one of those people who point out the mistakes because I'm not changing anything. I'm to lazy to do that.**

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**Interlude One: Shassie**

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Carlton sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose. He was trying to focus on the paperwork in his hand but it was late and the words was starting to blur together. It was one reason he hated the holidays, it was criminals favorite time of the year and it made more paperwork for him.

Sighing again, he placed the paper face down on the desk and decided it was time for a coffee break. Picking up his mug, he walked away from his desk and made his way to the coffee room. A few moments later he was back and was surprised to find Shawn sitting on his desk with his hands behind his back.

"Spencer what the hell are you doing?"

"Hey Lassie-face, how's it going?" Shawn smiled as he hopped down from the desk.

"Get out."

"Is that any way to talk to the man that saved your life, I don't think so. Besides, I came all this way just to see you."

"What do you want Spencer?"

"I told you what I want."

"No," Carlton replied, shaking his head. "You told me why you came, you didn't tell me what you wanted."

Shawn smirked, taking a few steps closer to Carlton but keeping his hands behind his back. "Always the observant one aren't you Carly," he continued to smirk, "You want to know why I'm here okay I'll tell you. I came here to see you."

"Why?"

"Because I need you to do something for me."

Carlton grumbled as he became agitated. Placing his mug on his desk, he sat down back in his chair and looked up at Shawn. "What do you need Spencer?"

"Before I tell you I want you to close your eyes."

"I don't have time for this Spencer-"

"Would you just humor me and close your eyes," Shawn replied, "I want to give you something but you have to close your eyes for the surprise."

"You want to give me something."

"Yeah, think of it as an early Christmas gift."

Carlton growled but closed his eyes like Shawn asked. Holding out his hand, he waited for Shawn to place the gift in it but as time passed his hand remained empty. Opening one eye, he realized that Shawn's hands were no longer behind his back but one was draped over his head. He looked and realized that Shawn was dangling mistletoe of his head. "Spencer what the hell-"

Shawn smiled as he circled the mistletoe over both of their heads. "It's tradition for two people to kiss when they are under mistletoe you know."

"What, you can't be serious," he asked flabbergasted, jumping up from his chair. He ran his fingers though his hair as he moved away from Shawn. "I'm not kissing you."

"You don't have a choice Lassie, it's tradition. You wouldn't want to upset the Christmas spirits now would you."

"Christmas spirits Shawn, are you out of your mind?"

"Some doctors would say yes but that's besides the point, you have to kiss me."

"Shawn-"

"That's the second time you've called me Shawn," he grinned, walking over to Carlton again. "It's a sign that you want this just as bad as I do."

"That's preposterous."

"No, it's the truth. You want to kiss me just as much as I want to be kissed by you."

This caused Carlton's heart to beat faster and his head to spin. Shawn wanted to kiss him, Carlton Lassiter. Something was definitely wrong if Spencer was doing off of this for a kiss. Maybe it was a joke between him and Guster or worse, a dare. "Spencer I think you should go," he stuttered nervously, backing as far away from Shawn as he could. "What you're saying is crazy."

That was the last thing Shawn wanted to hear as he threw the mistletoe on the floor and grabbed Lassiter by the wrist. "I jumped in front of a bullet to save your life. There aren't too many people in this world I would do that for. Gus, yes of course; my dad, maybe if he hadn't pissed me off that particular day and Jules, if I was the closet person to her at the time then yeah, why not, but with you it was different. I jumped in front of you without so much as a thought because in that split second that gun was pointed at your head I tried to imagine my world without you and I couldn't. There is no world for me if you aren't in it, don't you get that."

"Shawn-"

"I like you, like seriously like you on the borderline of love like," Shawn continued his confession, mistletoe completely forgotten. "And I know you feel the same way I do."

"How Shawn, how could you possible know that; and don't give me any bullcrap about you being psychic and one with the spirits because I don't believe that?"

"Spirits didn't have to tell me anything, you did, you always have. You think I didn't notice the sideway glances you would throw in my direction when you thought I wasn't looking. Or way your whole body would tingle every time I touched you, especially the one time my ass found it's way on your lap. Oh yeah, someone was definitely happy to see me," he smiled, grabbing Carlton's hand and intertwining their fingers together. "And I felt your heart stop the moment that bullet hit me, it was if your whole world had just ended. No matter how hard you try to deny it you want me just as bad as I want you."

"I can't do this Shawn," Carlton whispered as Shawn pressed his body closer to his. The feeling of Shawn's body against his sent shivers through his body. "I can't lose anybody else."

"You won't, because I'm not going anywhere. I didn't before and I'm not now, especially not after you kiss me." Shawn didn't wait for Carlton to say anything else as he pressed his lips against the detective's. He could feel the tension immediately leave Carlton's body as he wrapped one arm around him. Pushing the detective against the wall caused Carlton to gasp at the contact and gave Shawn the perfect opportunity to thrust his tongue inside Carlton's mouth. The taste of coffee instantly excited his taste buds as his tongue plunged in deeper.

Lassiter moaned at the intrusion and graciously accepted Shawn's tongue inside his mouth. He couldn't help but pull Shawn as close to him as possible as their tongue's got more acquainted with each other. As the kiss continued Carlton couldn't help but think how Shawn's mouth tasted like a sweet Hawaiian pineapple. If this was what it was like to kiss Shawn on a daily basis he couldn't wait until tomorrow.

Finally, out of breath, the pair had no choice but to pull apart and regain their breath as the same time never taking their eyes away from each other. Shawn smiled at Carlton while the detective touched his now swollen lips.

"That was even better than I imagined," Shawn gasped, trying to catch his breath. "You have no idea how long I wanted to do that."

"I think I do," Carlton smiled in return.

Shawn laughed as he pulled Carlton back into his arms and rested his head against the older man's chest. He was happy when Carlton didn't resist him, instead the detective wrapped Shawn up in his arms. If possible Shawn's smile became wider. "Merry Christmas Lassie-pants."

"Shawn Christmas isn't for two weeks."

"I know," Shawn shrugged, wrapping both arms around Lassiter's neck. "But since I just got everything I wanted I might as well celebrate it now. So, once again, Merry Christmas Carlton."

Carlton laughed before he leaned forward and captured Shawn's lips again. This kiss was more gentle and slower than the first one but still had the same passion behind it. Finally the pair pulled away and Carlton couldn't help but laugh again the flushed Shawn. "Merry Christmas to you too Shawn." 

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Did you like it on the borderline of love it because I totally hope you did. If you did don't be scared to let me know. Reviews make me smile hard. The next chapter will be back to Carlton and Perry but never fear, Coxian gets shown some loving too. Just wait for it. Until next time,

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, especially if they're your size and pretty,

LadyCizzle


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary: Another week another chapter. Hope the wait wasn't to long since I posted a chapter Friday. Thanks for the love and reviews I got for the last chapter. Shassie is awesome and so is the friendship between Perry and Carlton. It's like they're two peas in a horrible horrible pod. Now enough with the yappin, get to reading. Enjoy!**

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**Disclaimer: Didn't have a part in creating neither one of these shows but if the creators want to give me credit for them I will gladly take them. Mama didn't raise no fool, she did however raise a slasher.**

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**Warning: May seem a bit OCC but I tried my best to keep the characters in line but sometimes it just slips out. Also unbeta'd so all mistakes found are no one's fault but mine. And please don't be one of those people who point out the mistakes because I'm not changing anything. I'm to lazy to do that.**

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**Chapter Six**

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Over time the older men grew to lean on each other and soon it was December, two weeks until Christmas. Perry was sitting alone at the bar, patiently waiting for Lassiter to show up. The man managed to call him earlier, to let him know that he was going to be late but that was over an hour ago and Perry was starting to worry. His worry to put to rest when the bartender looked at him and pointed in the direction of the door.

"Who stuffed your Christmas stocking," Perry asked when he a smiling and cheerful Carlton Lassiter came and sat down beside him. The man seemed happier than usual and Perry wanted to know why. When Lassiter didn't say anything Perry, using his remarkable deduction skills, concluded why Carlton was happy. "Why Lassie-face, I didn't know you had it in you," Perry smirked, patting Lassiter on the back.

Lassiter cringed and glared at Perry for calling him that name. The night Spencer got shot he had accidentally blurted out how much he would miss the nicknames that Shawn often called him. Perry, being the evil man he was, took the nick names and often called him that when he was trying to be funny. "Now is not the time Perry."

"Why not Carlton, it seems like the perfect time to me," Perry teased, "You finally trapped your man."

"I did not trap him," Lassiter hissed as the bartender brought him his usual, "He was the one that trapped me, not the other way around."

"What did he do he do Lassiter, corner you with mistletoe and demand a kiss." The silence was a dead give away that Perry was right. "He did that, really," Perry asked shocked, shocked that he was right.

"Perry you didn't tell me you were psychic too," Lassiter mumbled, rolling his eyes.

Perry chose to ignore the comment and continued his teasing. "Why Lassie, you sly dog. Gave Spencer mouth to mouth while he was still breathing did you."

"What was I supposed to do, push him away?"

"That was a possibility, yes."

"Of course it was but it didn't mean I was going to do it," Lassiter sighed as he sipped his drink. "What would you have done?"

"Punched his lights out."

Lassiter knew Perry was lying and decided to push him further on the situation. Perry harbored deep feelings for his colleague, he just didn't want to admit it. "Seriously, Perry, what would you have done if J.D was the one with mistletoe over your head and wanted nothing but a kiss from you."

"I would have kissed him too," Perry sighed, finally admitting the truth. His feelings for J.D progressed throughout the years and they seemed to be getting stronger every day. Especially since J.D was the one who was there for him the most since Jordan left. "Dammit, I would have kissed him."

"I knew it,"

"Yeah how, you're not psychic," Perry grunted.

"No but I'm a detective, I'm trained to follow clues."

"Doesn't matter, at least I didn't shove my tongue down his throat."

"It wouldn't kill you to be nice to me you know."

"How do you know? You're not psychic but your boyfriend is."

Lassiter slammed his bottle down on the counter and looked around to make sure nobody heard Perry's comment. Him and Spencer only kissed, nothing more. "He's not psychic and he's not my boyfriend,"

"Yet," Perry finished for him, the teasing back, "He's not your boyfriend yet but he's going to be soon."

"We might not even make it that far, we're just-"

"What, too different."

"Yeah and-"

"You're not sure if you have what it takes to make him happy."

"That's exactly right. Besides-"

"His life would be much better off without you as a complication."

Lassiter soaked the words and realized that Perry was right. Ever word he said was the exact way he was feeling. Spencer wasn't the serious type, how long would it be before he got bored and went on to someone new. Someone not like him. "Yeah, pretty much."

Perry noticed Carlton's discomfort and patted him on the shoulder. "Don't worry about you'll figure it out."

"God I hope so."

"You really like him don't you."

"God help me I do."

"I don't think God's going to help you out with this one here Carl," Perry smirked, loving the turmoil his friend is going through and happy as hell that it isn't him "You my friend, are on your own."

"Don't remind me," Lassiter groaned as he began banging his head on the counter. He was in middle of his second bang when he's cell phone went off. For a moment he thought about not answering it but realized that he couldn't doing that. He was a police officer and they were always on call.

Not even bothering to look at the caller id, he flipped open the phone and answered, "Lassiter speaking….Oh it's you Spencer, what do you want? Spencer that's not….Look I don't know what I'm going to do…Can we do this later…..Okay, I said okay, Shawn, okay. I'll be there as soon as I can. I promise." He closed the phone and blushed sheepishly at Perry who just stared at him amused. "That was Spencer…I mean Shawn."

"Of course it was," Perry laughed at his friend. "What did he want?"

"He wants me to come over so we…can talk about what happened."

"Are you going to go?"

"Yeah I am, because I promised him and he's really counting on me to come. Also because I want to know where this is going to go. I at least owe it to myself find out."

"Then what are you waiting for, get out of here and go unwrap your Christmas gift."

Lassiter opened up his wallet and placed the money for his beer on top of the bar. Grabbing his jacket, he put it on before he slid off the bar stool. "Hey Perry,"

"Yeah."

"You're my best friend, you know that right."

"What are you, channeling Virginia now?" Perry snorted, glancing up at Lassiter. "And here I thought your boyfriend was the psychic one."

"Shut up dumb-ass," Lassiter hissed at Perry. Leave it to Perry to make a joke when he was trying to be serious. "Look, all I'm trying to say is that I want you to be happy and if J.D is the one that makes you happy you should go for it."

"Whatever."

"People like us deserve to be happy too; even if it is with people that are pains in our asses."

Perry watched as Carlton smiled at him once last time before walking out the door. Turning back, he picked up his glass and drunk the remainder of his scotch out of the glass. His mind wandered back to Lassiter, wondering if his friend was making a mistake by dating someone he loathed. There was no way in the world their relationship would last no longer than three months. Still, he couldn't help but feel jealous that Lassiter was trying to make his life better by finally committing to someone. If he could do it then Perry could do it too. 

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One more chapter to go. Yes this fic will be coming to an end soon but don't worry, the last chapter will be full of Coxian love. Yes, that means J.D finally makes an appearance and did I mention there's a sequel. I know you guys can't wait. Happy Easter and until next time,

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, especially if they're your size and pretty,

LadyCizzle


	8. Interlude Two:  Coxian

**Summary: And at last we have the final final chapter of The Doctor and The Detective. I know you've waited long and hard for this and now your wait is over. Much thanks goes out to you readers because you guys give me the motivation I need to write. I couldn't do it without you guys. Also want to say thanks for sticking by me and reviewing, that rocked hard too. Now enough about me you go on and read. Enjoy!**

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**Disclaimer: Didn't have a part in creating neither one of these shows but if the creators want to give me credit for them I will gladly take them. Mama didn't raise no fool, she did however raise a slasher.**

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**Warning: May seem a bit OCC but I tried my best to keep the characters in line but sometimes it just slips out. Also unbeta'd so all mistakes found are no one's fault but mine. And please don't be one of those people who point out the mistakes because I'm not changing anything. I'm to lazy to do that.**

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**Interlude Two-Coxian  
**

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He sighed softly and whispered a 'no thank you' to the bartender when he came back to refill his drink. He paid for his drinks, put on his coat, and left the bar; he had a lot of thinking to do.

He was close to his car when he noticed a tall lean body leaning against it. Edging a little closer he noticed the body belonged to the one and only J.D. Shoving his hand into his pockets, he cursed silently as he made his way to the car. Even in the dim light he could see J.D's curious face staring at him. "What are you doing here Petunia?" he asked when he finally made it to the car.

J.D smiled at the name and knew exactly where it came from. "Have you been reading Harry Potter to Jack again?"

Perry growled as he took one hand out of his pocket and ran his fingers through his thick curls. "What do you want J.D?"

"I don't know you tell me."

"Excuse me-"

"Look," J.D sighed, pushing himself off the car. "All I know is that I got a call from a Detective Lassiter telling me to meet you here thirty minutes ago. He said something about you needing to tell me something. I thought you might be in trouble so I came."

"That son of bitch," Perry hissed earning an even more confused look from J.D. "Look Newbie there's been a mistake, I don't need to tell you anything."

"Oh," J.D whispered as his smile fell. He eyes tilted to the ground as he shoved his own hands into his pocket. "I guess I can go now," he mumbled softly, making his way towards his car.

Seeing the disappointment on J.D's face caused Perry's own heart to break. He wanted to reach out and tell J.D the truth, why he was called, but he was too afraid to do anything. A part of him wanted to ignore J.D, let him walk away, and never think about him again but he couldn't do it. The farther J.D got the more Perry's heart broke. Not being able to take it anymore he ran behind J.D and grabbed his arm. "J.D wait."

J.D turned around confused as Perry's grip on his arm became tighter. "Yeah."

"I just want to say…I need to say-"

"I know you've had a rough year, with Jordan leaving and all, and I just want to let you know that if you need to talk to me about anything I'm here."

"Really, you mean that."

"Of course I do," J.D smiled, turning around to face Perry. "You're my friend and I care about you even if you don't feel the same way."

"I…I care about you too J.D." And that was all Perry needed to say as he pulled J.D forward and kissed him soundly on the lips. It didn't take long for J.D to melt into the kiss, pulling his arm out of Perry's hand to wrap the hand around his neck. Biting the younger man's bottom lip caused J.D to moan and allowed Perry to plunge his tongue deeper into J.D's mouth.

J.D pulled Perry as close as he possible could causing the two of them to fall against a car. The impact with the car caused J.D to gasp and Perry to shove his tongue further down J.D throat. The contact was something he always wanted and couldn't help but want more as he soon found his hands underneath Perry's shirt. It didn't last long as the sound of a phone ringing forced the two to separate.

Perry realized it was his cell phone going off and flipped open the phone without even looking at the caller I.D. "What!" he yelled into the phone after he answered and was met with laughter.

"Just wanted to wish you an early Merry Christmas and a very happy New Year," the voice laughed soundly before hanging up the phone.

Perry immediately knew who the voice belonged to and grumbled a few words under his breath as he closed the phone. "It's official, he's a bastard."

J.D finally regained his composer and gave Perry a curious stare. "Who was it."

"Nobody important, just a friend," Perry replied, putting the phone back in his pocket. "Hey Newbie, what do you say we ditch this parking lot and go somewhere else, just the two of us."

"I'd like that," J.D smiled as he bashfully reached out and grabbed Perry's hand. His heart leaped out of his chest when Perry took his hand into his and lead them away to his car. "What about my car?"

"You can get in the morning."

"Okay."

The two men got into the car and drove out of the parking lot unaware of the detective standing in the shadows watching them.

Carlton smiled, happy that his plan worked, and cranked up his car. At the very moment he did that his cell phone went off again. He thought it was Perry calling him but was surprised to find out it was Shawn. "Shawn I'm on my way, I just had to help out a friend…No Shawn, I am not stopping to get you a pineapple…Fine Shawn, I will get you the pineapple and then I will be there as soon as I can…I promise…Okay, see you soon." Carlton smiled once more as he flipped the phone shut and drove off into the night.

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And we're done. Hope you liked J.D and Perry's interaction. I tried to make it as natural as possible. I know you're sad to see it go but don't worry a sequel is coming. When, not sure but believe me it's coming. Shouts out to everyone who read and reviewed. You guys rock hard and steady. Until next post,

Walk a mile in someone else's shoes, especially if they're your size and pretty,

LadyCizzle


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